7. Practice LOVE

7. Practice LOVE

Love is the most inspiring and motivating emotion. Problems arise when you forget to love yourself and the others. Anger brings no results. Love heals every relationship. When you are indecisive and you don’t know how to talk to someone or how to act, ask yourself this very important question that clears your mind “What would LOVE do in this situation?”

But you can practice love. You can practice both self-love and love of others. Love is actually a feeling we all have. But you can do some exercises in order to feel this emotion. Ok, but how can you do that?

There is a technique that will make you feel that you are actually full of love inside you. I feel very positive and refreshed after doing this. 

Imagine yourself as a child. Look at yourself deeply in your eyes, see your small and sweet face. Realize that love is what you search for and what you really need. Give yourself your unconditional love. Surround yourself with a white light of compassion. Protect yourself. You can do the same with your friends, or parents and especially those who you are angry with. This exercise will make you realize that there is so much love in our hearts. We can heal every other person that feels unprotected or depressed. Sweetness and compassion will be released out of your soul.

6. RATIONAL SELF-ANALYSIS of your negative thoughts

6. RATIONAL SELF-ANALYSIS of your negative thoughts

This strategy is one of the basic principles of cognitive therapy in psychology. But you can try it on your own. It helped me very much in difficult times. It made me think rationally and not emotionally. When your mind dwells on negative thinking, then the logical part of the brain loses its power. It's up to you to start using it. Whenever you catch yourself having a negative thought, such as worrying about your performance at work, worrying about what other people may think of you, fearing rejection or failure, having insecurity, depression, anxiety, self-doubt, or feelings of inadequacy, just stop and start thinking:

How can I be sure about this negative thought? 

Think about an alternative explanation for it. For example, if your friend doesn't answer your phone calls or messages, he is probably just busy. Don't start thinking that he doesn't want to spend time with you. Don't jump to wrong conclusions about the intentions of others. Almost every situation has at least one alternative explanation. You can't be sure about what is the right one. But don't stick to the explanation that it is going to make you feel badly without reason.

Think about arguments that support the opposite view.
Let’s talk about the example that you strongly believe that your boss doesn't respect you. Think about some specific events, actions or discussions that support exactly the opposite belief: that he respects you. You can't be sure about the truth. You will find out that there are also arguments for the opposite and more positive belief. This process will help you realize that your own negative beliefs (and not the facts) makes you feel bad.

Don't generalize.
The fact that you did something wrong at work doesn't actually mean you are generally bad at your job. All of us make mistakes. It is a part of human nature. Nothing is permanent, even your problems!

You worry about your performance. But you can actually do something better instead of worrying.
Are you actually educated enough in order to do the job? Have you the experience that a reasonable person would think is essential for that job? Have you planned and prepared appropriately? Do you have the information and resources needed? If not, then you should start quickly in order to prepare appropriately. If yes, then you are well positioned to give the best performance you can.

If your best friend had the same problem/belief with you, what would you say to him?
This technique will make you think more objectively. If you think more clearly, your strength of your negative beliefs will drop.

Don't be inpatient. Negative thinking has already become a habit for most of us. Time is needed in order for you to change this habit. Your own conscious effort and persistence are also needed. Don't get disappointed if it is difficult for you. Of course it will be difficult. But it's up to you to try to make it your new habit!

5. Imagine yourself lying on your DEATH-BED

5. Imagine yourself lying on your DEATH-BED

This sentence may seem a little scary, but it is exactly the opposite. It is an exercise you can do in order to realize exactly how you want to live your life. It is a technique that some psychologists use in their therapies.

Imagine yourself lying on your death-bed. Try to feel the emotions you would have while dying. What do you feel? Regret? Is there something you would like to do and you didn't have time? Something you were afraid of trying? Did you work really hard and neglect some other important aspects of your life? Have you expressed your real feelings to your loved ones? Have you realized how beautiful and smart you are? Or were you always anxious about being inadequate all the time? Do you care too much about what the other people thought of you? Did you appreciate all the special moments in your life? Or did you let them pass?

With this technique, you will realize some very important things. You will understand that you have very strong feelings for your loved ones that you have never expressed. I decided that I wanted to live life to the fullest and in a way that if I died tomorrow, I would have fewer regrets. If you pretend that you are not going to die, you will definitely not be allowed to live your life. You have to know that there is an end in order to live more passionately, more purposefully, and with a mindset of not postponing anything important for the future. Don't plan to do your favorite things someday when you have time. Do them now, because no one can assure you that tomorrow you will be alive. This experience will help you feel refreshed and start actually living. It helped me very much and I am sure it will definitely also help you.

4. STOP your NEGATIVE THOUGHTS: a challenge

4. STOP your NEGATIVE THOUGHTS: a challenge

This strategy is one of the most powerful but difficult ones! The challenge is that you commit to take full control of your negative thoughts for the next 10 consecutive days.

When you catch yourself focusing on a negative thought or emotion, just stop it and start thinking positively. Focus on solutions and not the problem. Replace your negative thought with a positive one. It may sound easy, but you will be surprised. You will realize how many times your brain deals with thoughts that are full of anxiety, negativity, fear, stress, rejection and doubt. This bad habit makes you feel depressed, anxious and unproductive. Don't feel guilty of your negative thoughts. 

Change your mindset. 

Practice, practice, and practice. It is the secret for making your mind thinking in a new way that is beneficial to you.

It is more difficult than you think! But that's the reason it's called a challenge.

In the end of this process:

• You will have learned to discipline yourself to control your way of thinking rapidly and eliminate your destructive habits
• You will be aware of your negative way of thinking
• You will realize that this holds you back
• You will make your brain able to find alternatives to negativity
• It will boost your self-confidence and you will feel more powerful and able to control your own life.

3. VISUALIZATION: a powerful technique for reprogramming your subconscious mind

3. VISUALIZATION: a powerful technique for reprogramming your subconscious mind

This is my favorite technique. I spend 20 minutes every morning doing this. But what is visualization really? It is simply the process of creating mental images in your mind, especially for the kind of person you want to be and the kind of life you want to have. Your parents, teachers and emotionally strong experiences have created specific images in your subconscious mind. Probably you are not aware of them. But they do exist and they strongly affect your current life. Fortunately, there is a way of replacing these images with others. One of the ways of doing this is visualization. With this strategy  you can create the self-image you want. You can create some new strong beliefs about yourself and you can persuade your mind that these are actually true. The technique that you have to follow is this:

Firstly you have to find a comfortable place where no one is going to disturb you. You have to be absolutely alone. You can also lie on your bed, because it makes you feel more relaxed. Stay comfortable.

Close your eyes. Think that the present moment is the only think that exists right now.

Start thinking about the goal you want to achieve or the kind of person you would like to be. Choose one thing.  Think about the personality traits you want to have. Ask yourself what kind of skills you would like to have. Think about a specific goal concerning your career or your relationships.

Take deep breaths for 2-3 minutes using your stomach.. You will definitely start feeling relaxed.. And start..

Imagine yourself being self-confident and happy. Imagine yourself accomplishing your goal now. Feel that everything is happening right now, not in the future neither in the past.. Be as detailed as possible.. Use more senses, such as hearing, smelling, touching, tasting.. Notice the colours and the people around you.. Feel deep.. Feel the happiness inside your soul.. Let's take the example of wanting to be accepted in a master’s  program. Start creating a picture in your mind with the feelings you have, seeing yourself having achieved this, seeing your friends and your parents celebrating the event, feeling the deep happiness, tasting the sweets your grandmother cooked for you, whatever you want! It is your own goal and you live it in your own way. Remember that emotions, senses and details are crucial.

The most important thing is again.. repetition. Don't skip a day. Do it every day whenever you have time and whenever you feel more relaxed. You can spend 10 minutes for each of your goals. In order to see results, you have to wait for at least 2 or 3 weeks. Persistence is the key to success.

2. WRITE down your goals NOW

2. WRITE down your goals NOW

Writing down your personal goals in a list is an extremely motivating way and the starting point of achieving them. 

Take a piece of paper. You can also use your computer for writing, but research has shown that handwriting is much more effective than typing on a computer. 

And now you are ready to start thinking… 

• What kind of experiences do I want to have in my life? 
• What achievements do I want to accomplish? 
• What kind of a person do I really want to be? 
• How much money do I want to earn each month? 

This process will help you figure out what you want to do in your life. Writing down your goals will force you to clarify what you really want. It is the destination of your life trip. You have to set it! It will help you get motivated to take action and eliminate distractions. It will remind you of your real desires. It works like a magnet. You can make it easier if you think about some categories: health, relationships, career, finance, hobbies etc. It is not so difficult as it may seem. Ask yourself questions like:

• Do I want to have a healthy body?
• Do I want to be more energetic?
• What kind of job would I like to have?
• Which personality trait would I like to improve in myself?
• What kind of friends would I like to have?
• How much money would I like to earn each month?
• Is there any knowledge or skills which I want to acquire?
• What kind of husband/wife would I like to have?
• In which places would I like to travel?
• Is there any foreign language that I would like to learn?
• Is there something that I can do in order to improve my curriculum vitae?
• Is there any friend that I would like to talk again to?
• Is there any book that I would like to read?
• What kind of house do I want to have?
• What is my dream car?
• What did I always want to do and I didn't have “time” to do it?

Start thinking and writing. Do some brainstorming. The possibilities are endless. Don't think that your goals are too small, too big or too difficult to achieve. Write down anything you want, whatever makes you feel more passionate. Be careful. Being positive is an important part. Don't write down things like “I don't like to be fired”. Instead of this, be positive: “I want to get promoted”. In addition, it is better for you to be specific. You can also use deadlines. Write down for example “ I want to buy this car in 10 months”.  This strategy makes your goals even more clear. Don't get distracted. Think about only the important goals that you really want to achieve. So... you did it!

After 30 days read your list of goals again. Ask yourself if your actions are towards these goals or not. You will realize that your mindset will have already been changed subconsciously in order for your goals to be achieved. It will give you the opportunity to celebrate your progress, even if it is small.  The most important part is that you actually work towards your goals. Believe me, it works.

I discovered the effectiveness of this technique by luck. In the end of the previous year I wrote down the goals I would like to achieve the next year. Later, I forgot about them. I opened the notebook on the Happy New Year's day the next year. I was astonished to realize that I had actually already achieved the 7 out of the 20 goals and I was on the way of achieving 6 of the rest. I had changed my mind for the rest of the goals and I didn't want to achieve them anymore. How did this happen? It is a little magic... You don't have to know how the subconscious mind works in order for you to benefit from this process. You just have to do it, because it helps you in ways you couldn’t even imagine. You really have nothing to lose.

1. The first step of being GREAT is being GRATEFUL – Count your blessings

1. The first step of being GREAT is being GRATEFUL – Count your blessings

This technique is one of the most important ones and it is going to help you in ways that you can't imagine. It is simple, everyone can do it, and there is actually no reason for not giving it a try. I have done this exercise for months and the results were really amazing. I started to feel happier and more content inside, anxiety faded away, magical things happened in my life!

Feeling and expressing gratitude for what you already have is probably the easiest way to change your mind from automatic negative thinking into positive. Gratitude will improve your life unexpectedly. Research has shown that expressing gratitude has many benefits:

• increases productivity
• reduces stress 
• makes you feel happier

When people express gratitude, they are less likely to feel anxious and depressed. It is impossible for you to think about two different things at the same time, so you can't feel grateful and upset at the same time. When you feel grateful, your worries and negative thinking disappear. You recognize that there are people around you that care for you and that you are actually successful. You will feel lucky. Your relationships will be improved. If you make gratitude one of your habits, you will start to focus automatically on the positive things in your life and eventually create them. So, why don't you try it?

There is a very practical and beneficial way of doing this and it is extremely simple. I follow this habit every day. Right after waking up tomorrow morning, take a piece of paper and a pen or your laptop, and start thinking about things you are grateful for. They can be anything. Some ideas include: close friends, favorite relatives, the fact that you are alive, your work, your free time, your passion, your achievements, your positive personal characteristics, your loved clothes, your favorite restaurant, your books, the cool water during swimming, the sun, your pet, your hands that help you writing, your eyes, everything! Think about different topics. Health, Work, Relationships, Nature, Things, Passion, Beauty, People… The list is actually endless. Write a list of at least five different things every day. It is better to start your sentences with the expression “I really feel grateful for……...(e.g. My husband)…...because... (he is kind, he loves me, he cares for me, etc..)”. But you should be careful. The most important part of this exercise is how you actually feel. Feel deep inner gratitude for your blessings. Believe that you are really lucky that you have these blessings.

It may be quite difficult for you to feel the deep gratitude in the beginning. It is a matter of practice. In the end of this process you will definitely feel better and happier. The second important part of the process is that you should do it every day. Don't forget it and don’t postpone it. It is the fact of repetition that will help you create real positive results! There is also another good idea. You can purchase a special notebook and carry it with you in your bag. While waiting at the bus station for example you can open it and read your lists again. This process will make you feel better instantly!