6. RATIONAL SELF-ANALYSIS of your negative thoughts

6. RATIONAL SELF-ANALYSIS of your negative thoughts

This strategy is one of the basic principles of cognitive therapy in psychology. But you can try it on your own. It helped me very much in difficult times. It made me think rationally and not emotionally. When your mind dwells on negative thinking, then the logical part of the brain loses its power. It's up to you to start using it. Whenever you catch yourself having a negative thought, such as worrying about your performance at work, worrying about what other people may think of you, fearing rejection or failure, having insecurity, depression, anxiety, self-doubt, or feelings of inadequacy, just stop and start thinking:

How can I be sure about this negative thought? 

Think about an alternative explanation for it. For example, if your friend doesn't answer your phone calls or messages, he is probably just busy. Don't start thinking that he doesn't want to spend time with you. Don't jump to wrong conclusions about the intentions of others. Almost every situation has at least one alternative explanation. You can't be sure about what is the right one. But don't stick to the explanation that it is going to make you feel badly without reason.

Think about arguments that support the opposite view.
Let’s talk about the example that you strongly believe that your boss doesn't respect you. Think about some specific events, actions or discussions that support exactly the opposite belief: that he respects you. You can't be sure about the truth. You will find out that there are also arguments for the opposite and more positive belief. This process will help you realize that your own negative beliefs (and not the facts) makes you feel bad.

Don't generalize.
The fact that you did something wrong at work doesn't actually mean you are generally bad at your job. All of us make mistakes. It is a part of human nature. Nothing is permanent, even your problems!

You worry about your performance. But you can actually do something better instead of worrying.
Are you actually educated enough in order to do the job? Have you the experience that a reasonable person would think is essential for that job? Have you planned and prepared appropriately? Do you have the information and resources needed? If not, then you should start quickly in order to prepare appropriately. If yes, then you are well positioned to give the best performance you can.

If your best friend had the same problem/belief with you, what would you say to him?
This technique will make you think more objectively. If you think more clearly, your strength of your negative beliefs will drop.

Don't be inpatient. Negative thinking has already become a habit for most of us. Time is needed in order for you to change this habit. Your own conscious effort and persistence are also needed. Don't get disappointed if it is difficult for you. Of course it will be difficult. But it's up to you to try to make it your new habit!